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Pretentious Introspection
or serendipitious whimsies

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Current Mood: bouncy bouncy

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Blatantly stolen from Suchie, via Sparklinfire. Bolded the truths, in regard to myself.

I am 5′4 or shorter.
I think I’m ugly sometimes.
I have many scars. 
I tan easily. 
I wish my hair were a different colour.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair colour.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I’ve had braces.
I own glasses.
I’d get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.  ... well, they were together until my mother passed. Now they are together in death.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I’ve lost a child.

I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
I've snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.

I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve had stitches.
I've broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.

I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.  .
I’ve been on a plane.
I've been to Canada.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe.
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve been to France.

I’ve been lost in my city. ... kinda, was able to find my way back after a few wrong turns. So it was more discombobulated than lost.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pyjamas.  ... walking my dog in my front yard counts, right?
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve been to a casino. 
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I've played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.

I'm single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m available.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve been divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

I've had a crush on someone of a opposite sex.
I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I’ve had a crush on someone of a third, fourth, or fifth sex.
I've kissed a member of the opposite sex.
I’ve kissed a member of the same sex.
... but not sexually. My mom counts as the same sex. :p
I’ve kissed a member of a third, fourth, or fifth sex.
I’ve had sex with someone of the opposite sex.
I’ve had sex with someone of the same sex.
I’ve had sex with someone of a third, fourth, or fifth sex.
I’ve had sex with more than one person at the same time.
I am a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve had sex outdoors.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I have had sex with a stranger.

I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light. ... well, a yellow that turns red is not a true red light, right.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve shoplifted.  ... youthful indiscretion at 10; learned to resist peer pressure after that.

I’ve consumed alcohol.
I've smoked cigarettes.
I've smoked pot.
I regularly drink.
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I’ve been addicted to an illegal substance.
I take cough medications when I’m not sick.
I can’t swallow pills.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem. 

I have been diagnosed with depression.
I shut others out when I’m depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety.
I take anti-anxiety medication. ... chocolate doesn't count, right?
I have an eating disorder.
I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
I've hurt myself on purpose.
I’m addicted to self harm.
I’ve woken up crying.

I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone dying.

I have attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide. 

I can sing well.
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others too easily.
I watch the news.
I don't kill bugs.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I’m a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I play with my hair.
I have/had “x”s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I love Spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s a day.
I bake well.
My favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I don't know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts. 
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I’m good at remembering faces.
I'm good at remembering names.
I'm good at remembering dates.
I speak more than one foreign language.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
My answers are totally honest.

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Current Location: home
Current Mood: blah blah

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It's a foggy night in the valley. Although my vision registers the fact, my other senses seem to jump to attention. My ears notice the lack of sound from the interstate. Although it's three miles away, on a clear night you can hear the rumble of the 18 wheelers. I've even heard a lonesome train whistle occasionally. But tonight fog muffles all those sounds. My ear seems to amplify the songs of the tree frogs and crickets. Somewhere in the fog, a neighbor's tires crunch of on a gravel driveway.

The moisture on your skin feels like raindrops, but they form rather than fall. The branches of the giant pine trees are outlined against the gray night, but are more dramatic than usual. Without the sparkling backdrop of distant stars to distract the eye, the branches lead the eye to trace needle fans and pine cone pyramids. The musky smell of moss and lichen rises from the woods. Night time is magical when your senses are seduced.

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I was quite surprised that fungi care about geometry. I have, of course heard of the circular fairy rings. The Celts fear them. Hardy, E B Browning, Hawker, Tennyson, and Yeats ... all, literally, waxed poetic over the magical little mushroom rings. Even Shakespeare succumbed to the lure of their magic in my favorite, The Tempest.
. . . you demi-puppets that
By moonshine do the green sour ringlets make,
Whereof the ewe not bites, and you whose pastime
Is to make midnight mushrooms, that rejoice
To hear the solemn curfew . . .
(The Tempest, Act V, Scene 1)
But the other day, I noticed a perfectly executed right angle of five white mushrooms in the front corner of my yard. Circles are natural in nature -- think of the moon, a stone and logs. But a right angle? That just makes the quiescent biologist in me tingle with possibilities. Do mushrooms have little compasses encoded in their dna? How else do they perfectly measure 90 degrees? Could the mechanics of a T-square be natural rather than mechanical? The mind boggles.

Of course it could be that the little fairies that live in my wild rose bushes planted them in that configuration. Because we all know that fairies are just that whimsical.

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Current Mood: nerdy nerdy
Current Music: Adagio, Joshua Bell

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Walks with my dog allow me the opportunity to be an amateur naturalist. Tonight the waxing crescent moon sat low on the Western horizon, accented with a bright Venus sitting like a beauty mark to the right. Further to the right, Mars is barely visible as a cold, white light. Pivoting right again, I'm almost facing due North as I follow the Big Dipper tipping toward the Little Dipper further to the East. A stand of trees blocks the rest of the sky's horizon, but there are plenty of stars to entrance me. The faint light from the moon allows the starlight to be bright and clear. I know that Pegasus, Aquarius and Delphius are circling overhead, but instead of tracing their paths, I was distracted by the Milky Way, that beautifully faint band of stars and space dust encircling the sky like a Louis Vutton belt. Taking a deep breath, I was reminded that life can be beautiful.

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Current Location: home
Current Mood: calm calm
Current Music: The Planets op. 32 by Gustav Holst

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I see examples of courage everyday, large and small. The small is much more common and far too infrequently celebrated. The mom shopping for groceries, a limited amount of dollars and a child or two breathlessly adding their requests. The dad leaving for work in the 5 am pre-dawn darkness because that's the only job he can get that pays enough for his family to survive. The school bus driver that must be desperate to choose such a maddening way to spend their work hours. Courage is abundant and yet invisible.

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If you want to read more from this amazing woman, check out her journal: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/rhondabogard

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Current Location: nephews' home
Current Mood: hopeful hopeful
Current Music: rustling leaves of fall

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Today is the anniversary of my first date with my hubby. It's so strange how time isn't a constant. Einstein was onto something there. There are moments that I remember with vivid clarity. There are also a billion moments that have coalesced into a large contented glow. Perhaps it's enough that our life together has been filled with more moments of joy, contentment and laughter than strife, sadness or grief. May you be as lucky.

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Current Location: home
Current Mood: thankful thankful
Current Music: Barcelona Nights, Ottmar Liebert

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Fall is my favorite season. No surprise there. I detest heat, I loathe sweat and I get headaches from sunshine. So, fall with it's cooler temperatures, earlier sunsets and clear starry nights are a relief to my senses. Tossing on a hoodie before I walk my dog in the starlight, I trace the constellations and call them by name... big dipper, little dipper, big smooch, little trio, trapezoid, palm tree and pie chart. They circle above our walks, protecting our patch of the Earth, lighting up the dips and valleys of the yard and casting interesting shadows over the grass. Somehow, walks in the fall seem to be less of a bother than just a month ago.

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.
~  Stanley Horowitz

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Current Location: home
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Joshua Bell - Adagio from Violin Concerto 1 in G minor, opus 26

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Some people say that when you understand the why of a thing, it diminishes the wonder. As if an unknown can be the only thing of wonder. I know the love of my husband and my nephews. It doesn't diminish the wondrous quality when one of them is unexpectedly sweet to me.

This train of thought was started by my friend Kevin. He shared an article about recent findings about the scientific workings of the Northern Lights.  Knowing that magnetic explosions about one-third of the way to the moon cause the northern lights, or aurora borealis doesn't decrease the wonder. To see them burst in spectacular shapes and colors, to dance across the sky, should always cause bemusement and wonder to the viewer. Magnetism is wondrous too. Science is wondrous.

Wondrous is defined as so good or admirable as to inspire wonder or awe and is especially used as an intensifier. I dare you to see the Aurora Borealis and not feel awe. I dare you to see them without an intense response. I dare you to find wonder in your life today. Take it from someone who lives
in a state of wonder ninety-five percent of the time, it's a glorious way to live. 

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Current Location: home
Current Mood: enthralled enthralled
Current Music: Radiohead, House of Cards

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You know when you've lost something and you know exactly where it is. Only when you look there, it isn't. So, you think, ah-Ha! BTW, I actually do visualize in exclamation points and thought balloons. But, I digress. So next, you look in the right place where you know it's got to be and that you know you should have checked there first. Only it isn't there.

I often wonder if anyone else has this issue of the endlessly migrating lost items. I wonder if it has to do with the magnetic fields generated by the poles? I'm convinced the lost have hitched a ride on the Train-Car Theory of Time. If i haven't shared that theory with you, it is amazingly fascinating. I can and have spent days wondering about the physics of the lost.

There, I've digressed again. So, by now I've checked every place the object could actually be, but isn't. That's when I not only panic, but start contingency plans. I'm a master at contingency plans. Contingency plans that will absolutely, positively need to be implemented if the lost isn't found. I know what you're thinking. But, there is no correlation between my mastery of the contingency planning skill and my repeating phenomenon of the endlessly migrating lost items. Absolutely no correlation.

So, I develop contingency plans. Plans that are wondrously convoluted and totally workable... as long as the stars are aligned correctly. And I hold my tongue between my teeth just right. My contingency plans are certainly worthy of study at West Point. There are layers of what-ifs. Pyramids of "if this, then that" statements. Branches and trees of logic that would make a computer programmer fall to her knees and weep at their beauty. My brain obviously likes making plans. It's obviously very talented at making plans. I'm especially proud of the intricate visuals of my multi-layered mental flow charts. I am a mental giant.

Except when it comes to figuring out where my lost item actually is.

Current Mood: annoyed annoyed
Current Music: Clocks, by Coldplay

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